Friday, May 22, 2009

Allow Me To REintroduce Myself

Dear World,

I believe we have been introduced many of times before but for some reason you seem to forget who I name is Erin Danielle Bush, since January 15th, 1977, I am a content black woman.

There are SO many ways that I can describe myself and so many ways I have been described (many adjectives that are not appropriate for this forum), from materialistic to loving. My character flaws are being overly controlling, an inability to be led, trusting, common sense, and being somewhat naive. My weakness - LOVE. (and shoes)

Most of my adult life has been me finding myself and searching for love that will last a lifetime. A bit frustrating but I was always optimistic about my future, especially when I fell in love with my best friend (BFF).

That relationship soothed my soul in ways that I can not explain! I enjoyed the environment that she created that gave me the opportunity to operate in authenticity, she was completely open to me being me - unconditional love at it's best. I grew as a person in that year and a half; everyone who knows me saw the change! The sparkle in my eyes, the switch in my step, the joy in my voice, the focus, the drive, the ability to dream, and to have faith - it was an amazing transformation......but there was something always getting in the way of what we had planned.

To give you the short of the long without disclosing too much of private info that is not mine to share - I always knew she missed the life she shared with her ex-wife. We are two totally different women (the ex and I), neither one being better than the other - just different. 8 years of love is impossible to erase or even ignore! The foundation that was built in those 8 years was meant to last; my time in love with my BFF, no matter how amazing it was for the both of us, was simply to prove that point. Maybe I should have never allowed her to cross the line, maybe karma is a bitch and I am getting what I deserve, maybe I needed to exist to strengthen what they have.....the two reunited in April before family, friends, and God.

Fast forward past the extreme heartache and deep sense of loss that I experienced when I found out about the union: the depression, the crying, the vomiting, the 15 pound weight-loss, the reclusion, the embarrassment, the confusion, - May 22nd, 2009. Who am I?

I am a content black woman. I am acknowledging my flaws, faults, and sins. I am single, my ex is not obligated to me in any way and I have no right to interfere with her marriage nor her happiness - a clear choice was made April 25th. I am excited about what my future holds as I am creating it RIGHT NOW. I am stronger than you think. I am not easily broken. I am loved by many and adored by few. I am misunderstood. I am the woman that walks into a room and commands attention. I am a gem. I am all that my mother gave me and all that my father took away. I am jealous and insecure. I am materialistic. I am silent when I shouldn't be. I am opinionated. I am revered. I am envied. I am free-spirited. I am feisty and have a fire in my eyes. I am a new me!

Friendships have ended, respect has turned into disrespect, and love has been can not beat me, my spirit will not be broken. You can test me, push my buttons, laugh, hate, lie - whatever you want and need to do, I will still be here living MY life. Know you are waisting your time because I am not moved! What I can and will do is remove
myself from the situation with the dignity and grace that I have left.

Wondering what's next for me? I guess you are going to have to wait and see, I have so much more to offer the world.

Erin Danielle Bush
Content Black Woman

"I have great joy in the Lord because now at last you have again expressed your concern for me. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in any circumstance. I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing. I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:10 - 4:13


  1. WOW!!! Very deep, I am loving you just the way you are! It takes a lot of courage and knowing who you are to pick yourself apart (the good and the bad) and share it with the world! Erin Bush will be successful and I am proud to know her!!! Smooches Babes! :)


  2. I admire your ability to share as you have! I love that you have expressed your despair without calling names. I love that you acknowledged everything including your will to go forward. Having dealt with recent relationship issues I see your story as hope that I will be "okay". May you be blessed and find lasting love and happiness. You so deserve it!
    With Admiration

  3. Way to be! I hope that peace and happiness are yours!


I look forward to hearing your thoughts - be honest ladies: