Wednesday, September 26, 2007

How much are you willing to sacrifice for happiness?

Deep question that most of us have pondered it better to have a piece of a man, or woman, than to have no man at all? Knowing you are second best no matter how earth shattering the love making is because at the end of it all, he goes home to his wife. Mistress, side-piece, jump-off, shorty, homewrecker - do any of these titles convey love and affection?

I remember in my younger days (not to long ago since I just turned 25, lol) I was a pro at taking someone else's man/woman! I actually believed that it was a contest that I was winning by convincing some loser to come up with elaborate lies to spend time with ME. At 21 and 22 this all sounded so warm and fuzzy in my head. (sick, I know) After a few years, it turned from a competition to my right of passage as an independent, powerful, black, sexual, FEMALE being with no attachments to anyone. Why settle down with one when I can live FABULOUSLY on your buck and send you home to your whining, clueless, frigid wife?!?

Where did this come from? Who taught me this? (no, not you Mom) Was I influenced by those around me? Or, was I willing to sacrifice my own true happiness to get through the month, the day, the moment? (the latter is the correct answer ladies, DAH) I realize looking back that as pompous and conceited as I was, deep inside I didn't think that I was good enough to find what I was looking for (since the odds were NOT in a young black woman's favor with all of us being single and looking for the SAME thing and that SAME time), that in conjunction with my girlfriends and I (yall know who you are so please don't make me name you) truly believing that "all the good ones are taken"! LOL There was some truth to the statement, but why settle for less because of that?

Why, because I had a fear of being alone! (which most of us do) It took many sacrifices that were unappreciated, many sleepless nights tracking some fool down, MANY broken hearts, and a period of homelessness for me to realize that I am good - alone or blessed with a significant other in life. I literally had to take some "me time" to reflect on my life and the mistakes that were becoming habitual. I hung out with friends, read, cut my hair, dyed my hair, did some shopping, spent time with my family - any and everything that was for and about ME without feeling selfish or guilty!

I dare you to take that time for yourself and ponder the question asked, you'll be shocked at how much you may have already sacrificed.

Until tomorrow - Smooches, Quick Claps, and Much Love-

1 comment:

  1. This has been the best blog yet, of course I love all the fashion tips that you give!! :) This one is real talk and alot of us (females) need to ask ourselves this same question and then reevaluate our relationships! Luv ya Girl!!! ;)


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