I Want To Be a Wife But I Need My Own Wife

Does this sound crazy? LOL When I say wife I don't mean it in the "How You Doin" way that you all are probably assuming that my gay ass would refer to it, I mean I need a wife who is more like a cross between a housekeeper and a personal assistant!

Let me take you back to how I came to this conclusion......this past weekend I visited my cousin in the DC area. We decided that it would be a great idea to cook breakfast for her boyfriend and my boo Amanda. (please note, we ate breakfast around 1:30pm!!! lol) Now for any of you who know me, you KNOW that I am not the most domesticated Diva alive BUT we did made it through all of the cooking and it actually turned into a pretty impressive meal. (I was shocked too yall but take into account that my cousin CAN cook, my responsibility was to cut up fruit and cook the bacon) Even though it was successful, that was enough domestication to last me a good 2-3 weeks because that's just NOT what I do on a regular basis. The next morning my cousin actually thought that I was interested in cooking AGAIN!!!!! As I clutched my pearls and gagged, I had to ask if she was serious......why in the world would I want to do that again? Once it was determined that breakfast out was the best option, Amanda asked me what I would do to contribute to the house and I had to answer, "I'd do this!" as I pointed to my perfectly coiffed hair, impeccably applied makeup, fashionable outfit, and fab footwear! LMAO The crazy part was that I really meant it, and she knew I did. (God bless her for hanging in there with me, HOLD ON TIGHT BABES!!! lol)

All this to say that at the moment, I stated that I want to be a wife BUT I also need a wife! Feel me ladies? Let me break it down - situations like cooking more than once in a week, pass that off to YOUR wife. Need to run to the cleaners or need to call to make a hair appointment, pass that off to YOUR wife. Need your shoes organized by color and style, pass that off to YOUR wife. Need to bake 24 cupcakes for your child's Holiday Party at school, pass that off to YOUR wife. Need dinner started while you get a manicure and pedicure, pass that off to YOUR wife. Promised your boo that you would pick up a gift for dinner at the Jones' house this evening, pass that off to YOUR wife. Cleaning, errands, shopping, planning dinner parties, PTA, soccer games, Girl Scout meetings, car-pooling - PASS THAT OFF TO YOUR WIFE!!!!!


There should be a 1-800-WIFEY type number that we can use.......my wheels are turning, might be coming to a city near you! LOL