Living the Lessons in 2010

In the back of our minds we all hope that the coming year will be better than the one we leave behind. Truth is, in most cases we are the masters of our destiny....but the other telling truth is that in most cases - we fail dismally when it comes to New Year's Resolutions. So I've got a trick for the statistics (and myself), I am calling it Living the Lessons. No far-fetched resolutions, just a promise to myself to lead a more fulfilling life!

This isn't to vow to hit the gym and look like Beyonce by the summer (okay, okay...so I DO want a Beyonce body but a bit thicker - like a size 10/12 which is ONLY 20 more lbs away thank you Lawd), it's DEEPER than that! I turn 33 in January (I know I must love my readers to have admitted to my REAL age! LOL) and have never taken the time to list the lessons that I have learned personally, professionally, and spiritually as an adult in this crazy thing called "life".

Normally this list would stay hidden within my journal in the back of my pantie drawer but THIS year I have decided to share with the world for two reasons: 1) words contain empowering empowering energy that I need to release into the universe 2) I want those that know me, love me, and even hate me to check me if you see me slipping, giving up, and hiding under the covers due to my circumstances.

Here are my top five lessons that I am embracing for 2010:

1. Plan Purposefully

-Talk less, say more.

- Developing goals for myself, pinpointing the needed actions for reaching those goals, making sure my behavior is aligned with my goals, and assessing the outcomes of my prior actions to make current adjustments.

2. Prepare Prayerfully

- Fear less, hold on to my FAITH more.

- Fervent prayer will allow me to be receptive to the guidance of the Spirit.

- Bible Study

3. Proceed Positively

-Complain less, embrace more.

- Allow into my awareness only feelings of happiness, strength, and success.

4. Pursue Persistently

-Fail forward but NEVER fall.

-Willing is NOT enough, I must do.....consistently.

5. Indulge the Ego

-EGO TRIP: an activity, period of time, etc. devoted ENTIRELY to indulging in one's own interests or in self-expression.

Happy New Year!

I like my money right where I can see it... hanging in my closet. -Carrie Bradshaw

Are We Focusing on Loving the Wrong Person?

".....I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." - Carrie Bradshaw

This quote is empowering in a way that I did not expect.....empowering because it's not from a place of pain or bitterness regarding love, it's from a place of revelation and acceptance. Learning to love oneself, genuine self-love is elusive and harder to grasp than one may think.

In our 20s, we are so pressed at finding Mr/Miss Right before our clocks start ticking at age 30. We make simple mistakes, love hard, and fall even harder! We are all over the place with no clear destination except to find the "end all, be all" loves of our lives. I honestly can not remember not 1 chapter of my life in my 20s where I focused on ME. (I am almost embarrassed to speak/type that aloud) I actually lived HARD AND FAST, making simple mistakes with huge consequences.....but now in my 30s as a single woman, "me" keeps popping into the plan without an effort.

I want to live out my dreams, explore my weaknesses, improve on some of the chore characteristics that are Erin Danielle Bush. Gone are the days of feeling the need to be loved unconditionally in order to love ourselves in the same manner.

Seeking validation from others has easily transitioned into self-affirmations. Fear melts away and you embrace that inner voice that you have ignored or muffled for years....the voice of strength, the voice of love.

Go ahead and love yourself ladies, be good to yourself. Replenish yourself.

Smooches & Self-Love Quick Claps

Not one drop of my self-respect is dependent on your acceptance of me. - Quincy Jones

Have you Ever....

...peed in the shower? *blinking* *blinking* Seriously, have you ever urinated in the shower?

Well I am not too eager to admit that I have parted my legs a time or two, but I certainly have!!! (never when in the shower with another person, HELLO - I am a lady) And I thought I was alone until I read a recent survey conducted by Glamour Magazine.....75% of poll-takers were closeted shower pissers too! LOL

The poll states that by peeing in the shower that you are actually saving water! It even states that proponents of "urine therapy" believe that it can help treat athlete's foot too!

So save the planet, save water, cure athlete's foot.....and pee in the shower.

Smooches & Shower Pissing Quick Claps

PS - Since we are talking urine, hmmm, have you.....*blushing* ever had a Golden Shower?

Not one drop of my self-respect is dependent on your acceptance of me. - Quincy Jones

Public Service Announcement

It tickles me so how women are quick to place blame, quick to point the finger, and even quicker to forget the wrongs that have unfolded in their own lives.....but as much as you would like to forget, their is always someone out there who NEVER will! (someone who knows all of the dirty, sored secrets)

I am mentally strong but emotionally weak and have been so deeply moved by what my heart feels that "SHE" will be apart of my life...indefinitely. That's my flaw, it's mine to own - I control it all day every day, period.

What's in store for me is between me and MY God. And if you are still in the same place, still scurrying behind me to pick up what I have left behind in order to get your daily fix of "Who, What, When, and the Whereabouts of Erin Danielle Bush"...then I will be sure that you are the first one that I inform as to what the outcome was!

I am a new woman (stronger and wiser) but the old Erin isn't too far from reach, she is buried in the back of my closet just behind a few shoe boxes.....so when you come for me make sure to have your weapons drawn and be ready to fire! Subliminal messages, I don't respect them unless they are directed DIRECTLY at me - you don't want it with THIS Diva!

I advise the public to fall back.....

Smooches and HUGE EGO Quick Claps

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. - Corinthians 12:9-10

I Found MY Peace-of-Mind....I Suggest You Find Yours!

To take a vacation alone means to be in charge of your own time. It means that you get to decide exactly what to do or not to do with that time. I decided to try that this past weekend. Okay, you must be thinking - wow, that's unfortunate, you could have way more fun sharing your vacation with someone you love, with friends, or family. Oh, I'm sure that is fun......in fact, I know it's fun because I've done vacations with all of the above!

But being away all on my own is a different, much more liberating circumstance - like living life on MY terms and MY timetable. I spent my days reading, warming my skin in the sun, and enjoying meals oceanside while my evenings were filled with walks in the sand, dipping my feet in the water (fab pic, right?), gazing into the clouds, and redefining the meaning of my life.

So as I return home, I feel like I have it all figured out......much more optimistic about my future, much more clear about what I want and who I will be.

Smooches & Peace-of-Mind Quick Claps

Not one drop of my self-respect is dependent on your acceptance of me. - Quincy Jones

Allow Me To REintroduce Myself

Dear World,

I believe we have been introduced many of times before but for some reason you seem to forget who I am.....my name is Erin Danielle Bush, since January 15th, 1977, I am a content black woman.

There are SO many ways that I can describe myself and so many ways I have been described (many adjectives that are not appropriate for this forum), from materialistic to loving. My character flaws are being overly controlling, an inability to be led, trusting, common sense, and being somewhat naive. My weakness - LOVE. (and shoes)

Most of my adult life has been me finding myself and searching for love that will last a lifetime. A bit frustrating but I was always optimistic about my future, especially when I fell in love with my best friend (BFF).

That relationship soothed my soul in ways that I can not explain! I enjoyed the environment that she created that gave me the opportunity to operate in authenticity, she was completely open to me being me - unconditional love at it's best. I grew as a person in that year and a half; everyone who knows me saw the change! The sparkle in my eyes, the switch in my step, the joy in my voice, the focus, the drive, the ability to dream, and to have faith - it was an amazing transformation......but there was something always getting in the way of what we had planned.

To give you the short of the long without disclosing too much of private info that is not mine to share - I always knew she missed the life she shared with her ex-wife. We are two totally different women (the ex and I), neither one being better than the other - just different. 8 years of love is impossible to erase or even ignore! The foundation that was built in those 8 years was meant to last; my time in love with my BFF, no matter how amazing it was for the both of us, was simply to prove that point. Maybe I should have never allowed her to cross the line, maybe karma is a bitch and I am getting what I deserve, maybe I needed to exist to strengthen what they have.....the two reunited in April before family, friends, and God.

Fast forward past the extreme heartache and deep sense of loss that I experienced when I found out about the union: the depression, the crying, the vomiting, the 15 pound weight-loss, the reclusion, the embarrassment, the confusion, ect.......today - May 22nd, 2009. Who am I?

I am a content black woman. I am acknowledging my flaws, faults, and sins. I am single, my ex is not obligated to me in any way and I have no right to interfere with her marriage nor her happiness - a clear choice was made April 25th. I am excited about what my future holds as I am creating it RIGHT NOW. I am stronger than you think. I am not easily broken. I am loved by many and adored by few. I am misunderstood. I am the woman that walks into a room and commands attention. I am a gem. I am all that my mother gave me and all that my father took away. I am jealous and insecure. I am materialistic. I am silent when I shouldn't be. I am opinionated. I am revered. I am envied. I am free-spirited. I am feisty and have a fire in my eyes. I am a new me!

Friendships have ended, respect has turned into disrespect, and love has been lost.....you can not beat me, my spirit will not be broken. You can test me, push my buttons, laugh, hate, lie - whatever you want and need to do, I will still be here living MY life. Know you are waisting your time because I am not moved! What I can and will do is remove myself from the situation with the dignity and grace that I have left.

Wondering what's next for me? I guess you are going to have to wait and see, I have so much more to offer the world.

PROUDLY Signed,
Erin Danielle Bush
Content Black Woman


"I have great joy in the Lord because now at last you have again expressed your concern for me. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in any circumstance. I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing. I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:10 - 4:13

Can You Ever Really Forgive If You Can't Forget?

Have you ever been involved with some who comes along and has the ability to change the rules? Rules that are set in stone, that exist to protect your heart? You become engulfed in the intoxicating dance of intimacy, the electricity of your chemistry that sizzles through your veins, the type of connection that allows for silent communication between a gaze.....yep, that would be the one that comes along and changes the rules without warning! (be careful, it's ALL in the eyes - they can make you melt)

Now your vulnerable and deep in, I mean deeper than you ever imagined humanly possible because you realize that you are living for this person, that you were uniquely designed and put on this Earth to love this person for a lifetime but something happens; something always happens that causes this person to shimmy away ever so slightly when you are looking for those solid signs that this is it, you are the one, you and I forever (ie: lies, infidelity, identity theft, double life, bad credit, and many more that I am sure that we could discuss for DAYS). You are exasperated and heartbroken...but you just can't walk away. This is the point when the rules have been changed, we think that we still have control but we don't because our heart and mojo are in someone's damn back pocket (or FAB clutch)!

If you stay, can you really forgive if you can not forget? Is keeping our mouths shut in a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of fashion good enough for some to be considered forgiven? Is pretending that the situation that broke your spirit didn't really happen the best policy or just pure convenience - but convenient for who?

Smooches & Forgive and Forget Quick Claps

Carrie's Quandary.......Erin's Quandary

"Soul mate....two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart and you dream house. All you have to do if find them. So where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soul mate?"

- Carrie Bradshaw

Good question right? It has me up late thinking.....as if searching for this soul mate isn't hard enough while maintaining your own independence, now you have to wonder if you loved and it didn't work out or end in "I Do" whether or not is was just timing or because they are not your soul mate?!?! (I have to pour myself another glass of Moscato on this one)

I don't personally see marriage as the end all be all, at one point I thought I was missing the "bride gene" too (like Carrie) but then I realized how many marriages I know of that are faux; a facade, glossy and pretty on paper but weak and lacking that "thing". I am longing for a deeper connection, one that compliments the many dynamics of my multi-facaded personality. The dress, the ring (real or fake), the small details are not of any importance to me if we do not carry one another in our spirits.

Because I am an optomist, I am going to say that I believe in soul mates but that I also believe in timing! I have found my soul mate but we are not together.......how do I know? (I knew you were gonna ask! lol) Because with her I have grown exponentially, she brings out the extreme and real Erin - soft, sexy, pained, beligerent, protective, compromissing, caring, and posturing. She was strong enough to catch me and hold tight - period. (amazing in itself)

Now the timing thing......that's for another day!

Smooches & Quandary Quick Claps

Project Runway is BACK!

They made it work! After months of fierce fashion bickering between NBC Universal and The Weinstein Company - Project Runway got the OK to go on with the show.


Season six, which threatened to become the sartorial "lost season," will debut on Lifetime this summer. Here's how the runway rumble shook out: Producer Harvey Weinstein paid NBC big bank so he could take PR from Bravo to Lifetime. And Bravo simultaneously announced the debut of a new design challenge pilot called "The Fashion Show" starring Isaac Mizrahi (in the role of Tim Gunn) and Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child (in the role of Mrs. Seal).


Sorry, Bravo, but do you really think boisterous Isaac Mizrahi can hold a candle to dignified quip-smith Tim Gunn? And Destiny's forgotten Child, Kelly Rowland as the divine Heidi Klum? Sorry, Kelly, you may be a survivor, but you're no fashion expert.


Bravo's knock-off show will also lack the perpetually orange and always opinionated Michael Kors. And Nina Garcia. (Although really, good riddance on that one.)


I'd say Lifetime is the winner of this runway war. And as long as they don't throw in a serial killer stalking a lady doctor trying to find her birth parents - that's fine with me.

Know What You Want in a Mate?

Wonder why all of your relationships have been failures? Then I think it's time to make "the list"!


This list is sort of a record to keep track of the attributes that you are NOT willing to negotiate. At the start of a relationship, pull this list out (hang that bitch on your bathroom mirror if you have to....I'm about to hang mine there now!!) and make an assessment - an honest assessment. The point of this assessment is to that when the dreamy courtship is history, the sex is declining, and there’s no such thing as hand holding you don't want to still be with this loser because it’s comfortable or it’s just easier than parting ways.


So, I decided to do a list myself. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be but I am happy with the outcome, I am CLEAR in what I want - here it is:


Honesty
Fidelity
Respect
Makes me a priority
Reliable
Romantic
Humorous
Chivalrous
Driven
Spontaneous
Assertive
Intelligent
A provider (but you know I am not interested in being a kept woman, that is SOOOO 1950)
Generous
Sexually free
A team player
An animal lover (Sheba & Kennedy need a Daddy...or an Uncle Daddy! lol)


Hope my list above can help assist you in the creation of yours. It's ALL about happiness in 2009 ladies!

Smooches & "The List" Quick Claps

Snooping - What's Fair and What's Cuckoo

Totally Fair - Going through his photos.

If something is an album, it's public, like an issue of People that's all about him!

Sometimes Fair - Opening a closed drawer.

Again, not a big deal. You were just looking for....this hair elastic. Wait, whose hair is that?

Not So Fair - Reading his email.

Not so innocent, but it's illegal only if you hack into someone's account. OR if you publish it, or use the information to harm or damange the person.

Following Him/Her - CUCKOO CUCKOO!!!

Following him/her out one night, watching him/her getting gas, noting that he/she buys a Eminem CD, and then donning a wig and sitting in the corner at the bar where he's drinking with his/her friends. NOW THAT'S NUTS!

Smooches & Snooping Quick Claps

heartache will get you down

but your body heals once your love has been found

heartbreak is something else

when you just can't cure the pain that you've found

My Birthday Wishes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Yes, today is my b-day and I am totally excited and ready to accept any and all gifts!

Above is sorta like my, kinda like my.....well actually my EXACT wish list - minus a few things that just wouldn't be ladylike of me to reveal! lol (wink)

Let's see - I have a Mary Kay Pink Cadillac (PDP in tha house), Vibe Vixen (wish me luck on getting an interview), a pink laptop, some SICK Louboutins, a hot LV bag that's the perfect color for all season (and in my favorite - patent leather), Dior Show Mascara (need I say anymore about this darn mascara for you to know I LOVE it), a unique ring from Cavalli, the Kimora Lee Simmons diamond Hello Kitty necklace/pendant that I have been drooling over for a few years, and a rainbow sapphire bracelet that has been on my wish list for two birthdays in a row.

Hey, a girl can dream right.....

Smooches & ERIN'S BIRTHDAY Quick Claps

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I interrupt your partying and mine - lashes poppin, lips bustin, and stiletto struttin' all up and through NYC tonight Miss Honey - to say a few things form the heart.


New year, new you...resolutions, erasing toxic people, ending failing relationship, career change, refocusing, etc, etc, etc. We all know what a new year can bring so I would like to say a prayer which is the best encouragement that I can offer for both you and me - I know, who would have ever thought but just roll with me Divas. I pray for you, PLEASE pray for me as my life is going through some changes:


May God let your guardian angels protect you and keep you safe from any harm; to blanket you with joy and contentment, peace and prosperity. May you be guided with the wisdom to make choices to enhance your life and the awareness to make changes that are in your best interest.


I pray that God blesses you with a storehouse of opportunities, the ability to meet your goals, and the joy of your own approval and acceptance. I pray for your heart’s desire, every need met, every prayer answered, and every dream come true. I ask that He prepare you for whatever life hands you or whatever you’re going through. I pray that your spirit be strong and lead you and guide you each step of the way down every path you take.


Amen

Now........let the party continue - HEY NOW!

10 Things Every DIVA Must Remember In 2009

First rent, then shoes.

Good enough sex isn't good sex.

Don't get even. Get even better.

Do it now; deal with the fear later.

Yelling makes it harder for people to hear you.

Your body is a wonderland - respect it and others will do the same.

It's not a sin to win.

You have much better friends than Ben and Jerry.

You can't change a bad boy/bad girl. Only they can change themselves.

We give birth - check mate, game over!

Friend or Enemy.....Better Yet, FRENEMY

FRIEND-SHIP [frend-ship]

-noun

1. the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

2. a friendly relation or intimacy.

3. friendly feeling or disposition.

So let's talk people....growing up as one of the only Afican-American children in Lake Parsippany during the 80's wasn't easy! Racism was strong and unfortunately I learned that at an early age, spending the majority of my school years shunned by my fellow classmates. (insert sad music here) It was difficult to make friends and I entered college friendless and unable to identify with the strong bonds of friendship.


It wasn't until my Sophomore year at Hampton U that I met my BFF #1(best friend forever) and years later that I met my Boo (yes, we were friends first), who is my other BFF #2. In between meeting those two, I befriended another individual who is still in my life today - who I have been known to call my "third best friend" (BFF #3) in order of hierarchy. BFF #1 and #2 have always and will always hold a special place in my heart, for different reasons but neither of them can be exiled, replaced, or dimminished.....but BFF #3 has been a bit suspect for the past 4 years!


At first I thought that maybe we were just growing apart as some friends do, our interests were changing as were our life situations. We had a few incidents where I chose to fall back instead of going for her jugular and in the end she always came back as if nothing had ever happened, and I forgave her - but I have always wondered if she would be a lifelong friend. We do no share moments the way I do with BFF #1 and BFF #2, but we have been there for another during times of need. Even with that being said, that unbreakable bond of close friendship just isn't there. Yes she has always been loyal, rejoiced in my success, and held my hand during stormy weather but something changed about 4 years ago - she seemed to have issues with anyone I was involved with romantically. She became petty, unsupportive, and territorial; forcing me to keep my distance frequently, but we got through that.


I was actually RELIEVED this year as it appeared that she had matured and changed, possibly because of her knew relationship - until last night! I will not go into detail as I am learning to not reveal so much about my personal life on this blog but I need to vent....and a fellow blogger (http://diaryofacuteface.blogspot.com/, hey Traci) suggested about a week ago that I release on the blogsphere (cause she SO lets it out on hers) so her I go; THE FRIENDSHIP WAS ALL AN ILLUSSION! My head has been spinning all night, not only do I not understand the bullshit and drama that she delivered to my front door but I don't understand why? I've decided to look past the drama that was neatly wrapped like a Christmas present and handed to me as I opened the door, I've decided to look past that she went out of her way to come to my home, I've decided to look past that even my tears didn't persuade her to stop "the gift" from continuing to spew lies and try to focus on the W-H-Y she pretended to be a "concerned" friend.


Aside from drinking a whole bottle of wine, crying, and acting irrationally, I have come up with no answer to my question. I do realize that she never has had my best interest at heart, was questionably honest, only spoke the truth pertaining to pointing out the faults of my counterparts for self-gain, and that we NEVER had a mutual understanding!!!


TO BFF # 3 - YOU ARE A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING, A TOTAL WASTE OF SKIN WITH THE IQ OF A KITCHEN SPONGE, AND YOU WEAR BAD WEAVES! YOU ARE PHONY EVEN THOUGH I HEAR YOU LOVE TO TELL OTHERS HOW PHONY, PLASTIC, AND BOUGIE I AM! YOU ARE FAKE, TWO-FACED, DISRESPECTFUL, ENVIOUS, SNAKE IN THE GRASS! I AM DRAINED AND CONFUSED BY THESE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE INTERACTIONS....NO LONGER WILLL I MAKE ACCOMMODATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR THAT DEMORALIZES, EMBARRASSES, AND JUST DOWN RIGHT ANGERS ME - FUCK YOU!



Thanks for listening!

Beauty IS Pain.....Please Recognize!

Ask any woman and she will tell you “beauty is pain.” Not only does it mean that it hurts to stay attractive (Bikini wax anyone?) but that it's also a pain in her butt (which happens to be nicely toned from 5 days in the gym at Spin Class before work or from sipping a Rum & Diet Coke at the dinner party because she is counting freaking points on Weight Watchers!) to keep up the upkeep. Using vacation days to squeeze in our facials because there is a 2-month long waiting list for a Saturday morning appointment; rushing home after work to be there for your UPS delivery of custom blend hair from Miami; befriending the snotty and uptight sales lady at Saks 5th Avenue so you can be the FIRST person she calls when the purple, patent leather, peep-toe, ankle strap Brian Atwood sandals arrive in size 9; or how about the Spanxx, girdles, and duct-tape that we use to fit into that dress that turns heads every time we wear it?!?! SOMEBODY NEEDS TO RECOGNIZE ALL THE EFFORT, DEDICATION, AND HARD WORKS IT TAKES TO BE A DIVA 24-7!!!!!

Now lets talks about those women who choose the easier road by maintaining the hygiene habits of an 11-year-old boy: short and dirty finger nails, not shaving (anywhere) often enough, and getting her hair cut and colored at a salon that still specialize in perms because she has no interest in spending 3+ hours in a chic salon, and she cares more about comfort than style by choosing Timbs over stilettos!(OMG, that sounds so horrible and an offense that should be punishable by death, right?) You know someone like this, she is probably sitting in the cubicle or office next to you, or rides the train with you in the morning - there IS a difference between her and "we"!!! Why are these women excused yet "we" above (the 24-7 DIVAS in case you were lost) are referred to as shallow, superficial, uncomfortable in our own skin, and/or plastic?!?!

Would a National Holiday in our recognition be too much to ask? The tree-huggers have Arbor Day, the gays have National Coming Out Day (HEY NOW!), the IRS has Tax Day, even the football lovers have Super Bowl Sunday! The closest that we DIVAS have is NY Fashion Week....and who sacrifices a week of vacation days for that when we need those days for our permanent lash extension appointment, the fist day of the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale, and other maintenance related services! LOL

Or how about a tax write-off - "we" can write-off salon visits and nail polish purchases while they can write-off Tampon purchases and chapstick?

Just one to think on....

Smooches & High-Maintenance Quick Claps,
Erin

Everyday I'm Hustlin'

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR YALL......I have an article on a FABULOUS site called Broke and Beautiful, Making your life rich, without spending a fortune! Check out the site, Miss Elle is a fellow DIVA! (hey Miss Elle)

My article posted last night, it's titled From an Expert: Solid Gold. (don't you just love the whole"From an Expert" sounds?!?!)

http://brokeandbeautiful.com/

Anywho, I am SO poppin bottles in VA this weekend.

Smooches & Quick Claps....especially to the hatin' bitches! (wink)

Why Couldn't I Have Been Blessed With a Touch of Anorexia?

As most of you know, I am preparing for my wedding that is coming up within the next few months....so I decided that I should shed a few pounds to ensure that I look EXTRA svelt in my dress. I have worked hard to loose the almost 60 pounds that I have shed thus far but slowly I see a pound or two creeping back up on the scale after every weekend I spend being spoiled by the soon-to-be-Mrs!! (just in case you have heard differently, I am forced to eat those ribs at Smokey Bones when in VA) I decided to get back in control - and begin a d-i-e-t.



I started this week out strong drinking my hot lemon water before every meal to jump start my metabolism and am Smart Start cereal, 2% milk, and a banana for breakfast. I started selecting healthy salads and yogurt for lunch and even have traded in sharing a cookie with Sheba for dinner for a Weight Watcher's frozen meal or two. (Sheba is not too happy with these changes, I can tell by the eye rolling I get after she sniffs my fork, lol! But she and Kennedy have started to develop little tires around their waists - HELL, WE ALL ARE DIETING IN THE BUSH HOUSEHOLD!) Like I stated earlier, I started out strong.....until I got my period this morning!



Somewhere between getting out the shower and arriving at the front door of my job, I had decided that I could cheat just a bit on the diet to soothe raging the hormonal Gods that lurk within. (and so I didn't snatch a ho on the 10th floor) Anywho, my co-worker who is dieting with me agreed to cheat as well. I had grits with cheese, turkey bacon, multi-grain toast with butter, and coffee with cream & Splenda hoping this would satisfy any and all cravings for the day; but it didn't! So by the time lunch came, I knew I wanted something fried, smothered, and dipped in chocolate!!! (you know you have been there too) I walked with a friend to Penn Station, she was having a mini crisis with her man and I was there to listen....until the aroma of freshly fried fries filled my nose. I couldn't resist, I had to have some so I ordered a medium fry and small diet Coke for lunch, hoping that the diet Coke would even out my caloric intake. (I can rationalize the HELL out of some bullshit if forced to)



So I arrive back at my desk to indulge in my fried treat when my fellow "dieter" called herself checking me about my lunch selection! (insert horns, fangs, head spinning, and steam blowing out my ears HERE) I couldn't even control myself, how dare this skank check me and in front of my fellow aisle mates?!?!? I quickly and loudly snapped, "I HAVE MY PERIOD, CAN I EAT MY FRENCH FRIES IN PEACE"? The I entire row got quiet...phone calls paused, headphones came off, men threw up a bit in their mouths but I didn't give a hell, I turned right back around and enjoyed by tasty delights until my toes curled under my desk!



All that to say, why could I have not been blessed with a touch of anorexia so none of this would even be an issue?!?!?!



Smooches & HIGH CALORIC Quick Claps

The Laws of Attraction

How do we own our natural sexiness in a world that's constantly selling us an artifical version of it?



Capturing the essence of sex and customizing it to our own needs and tastes is difficult. Women who posses an innate eroticism tend to do the least amount of worrying about how they measure up to popular images of sexiness. Sexiness is not an article of clothing, it's all about self-assurance ladies! We all know at least on "Unlikely Hot Girl" (I being one of them), she's the less than totally attractive woman who mysteriously draws men (or women in my case) to her as though she was the last female on a remote tropical island. It's not the she's ugly, she's just notably imperfect. Maybe she has crooked teeth, a bump on her nose, or bad skin (or a few extra pounds like myself). Maybe the worst thing we can say about her is that she's not as attractive as we like to think we ourselves are. So why is she being madly pursued.....self-assurance is the key to projecting attractiveness!



You do not need to initiate a strip tease to be the sexiest girl in the room, use these welcome gestures through body language:



1. Make eye contact, a quick glance communicates interest and a lingering look moves it a step

further.



2. Touch your clothes, adjusting your necklace or smoothing the hemline if your skirt leads the

the eye to the feminine parts of your body without being vulgar.



3. Be on your toes, staying on your feet at a party of gathering makes you look confident. So skip

the 5" heels if they have a 30 minute limit!



4. Don't cross! Crossing your ankles and folding your arms says "stay away". Open posture says

that you welcome interaction.



And remember, being at home in your own skin is the SEXIEST thing of all!



Smooches & Sexy Quick Claps